Am I Getting Crazy???

Why am I talking to myself?

I have been thinking a lot lately, with a lot of things. There are so many things running on my mind sometimes I wonder if my brain is not yet tired thinking. It’s like I am having lots of strings in my brain running in different directions, looping to one another. Most of the times, I feel like I am so lonely because I am often talking to myself in my brain, asking a lot of questions, thinking of different answers, choosing which option is best, things like that. I always ask myself, “Isn’t it better if I am talking to a person instead of quietly talking to myself?”

To be honest, I am a very extrovert person, I love being surrounded with friends, relatives, and officemates, but I tend to be so introvert when I’m inside the house. I am not a music person, so I prefer a quiet house, I can live with just reading different articles in the web. Maybe that is one of the many reasons why am I talking to myself often. At this point, maybe you were already assuming that I am living alone, no I’m not. I am living with my husband with my two daughters (a 9year old and a one year old). Isn’t that enough to make a whole house in chaos already, you say? Yes, it is more that enough! Hahaha…

The Reason Why…

Well, most of the time, it feels like I am spending less time with my husband and my eldest daughter. It is simply because Elmer, my husband, is working in Ayala from 9am to 8pm most of the time. That makes him wake up at 4am, helped me with some household chores if possible, eat and prepare for work. He leaves the house at around 5:30 to 5:45 to give him ample time to travel and make it on time to office. Given the hassle of commuting every day and wrestling with the traffic, or MRT problems, he is mostly arriving in our home by 10:30 to 12midnight(max) in the evening. No time left for us to even chat because me and my daughters were already asleep when he arrived. This is happening from Mondays through Fridays, sometimes even Saturday if they needed to report to work.

My eldest daughter Phoebe on the other hand wakes up at 5am, eat and prepare for school and leave the house at 6:15. She mostly arrived home by 3pm or 4pm. I am left with Lizzie, my youngest, with 2 long naps daily, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Does this give you an idea why I am talking to myself via my brain often?? Now we’re talking!

Introducing my family…

Why I decided to start a blog?

So to make the story short, I am thinking to write a blog just to spill all the thoughts running in my head. Instead of talking and talking, again and again, by myself, I decided why not write instead, compile it, maybe someone will be interested or somehow make a connection because it is happening to them too.

What stopped me???

There are few things stopping me to blog that’s why I am just starting now even though I already thought about it long time ago.

First, I don’t know anything about blogging, I just love reading different kinds of articles that interests me currently. I am not fond of a certain topic that is why I am jumping reading from one blogger to another. It is solely depending on what interest me now. Second thought is, what if I can’t really express what I wanted to deliver? I am not a native English speaker so maybe I am just wasting my time and just failed communicating what I wanted to say, what if I am always wrong grammar. Third, what if no one reads my blog entry because internet nowadays is so vast you can get lost easily? Or nobody cares? Or what if I run out of words, etc. The list goes on and on, of course inside my mind.

I just decided…

But now that I am taking this course, I just thought, I don’t care anymore. With the hopes that this blogging experience will teach me lot of things, I am also looking forward to lightening my head’s load. I just wanted to share all my thoughts, maybe make this my own modern diary. I am a mom and the list go on too when it comes to experiences, great memories and ideas to share. There are lots of questions too that maybe I can get answers if I continue doing this. I might even make friends doing the thing that I love to do. Share my love for cooking and so on.

I hope I did not fail on doing my first ever blog… More on my stories and experiences on the next one… Please don’t forget to subscribe and share me your experiences too..

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