I am not a perfect wife and Luke is certainly not a perfect husband too. We made a lot of mistakes in our marriage, but we are too proud to admit it. There are times we are happy but most of the times we are talking like “frienemis” (Friend+Enemies). It seems like we are just showing to everyone that we are a happy family. I started questioning him and myself, What happened to the most wonderful man that I married? what happened to me? Is this the life that I dreamed of? Is this the family that I want for my children? And definitely the answer is NO! We realize something is wrong with us that even our children are being affected. So we push ourselves to learn this things and I want to share it with you guys. Hope that it will help you too!
TIPS ON HOW TO HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE
1.Communicate to each other. Communication is a very powerful tool to a marriage. Don’t suspect your spouse to know what inside your mind. Specially women like me, Example: He forgot your dinner date and he came home late from work, and you are so mad and not talking to him (of-course whose not gonna be mad). And he is telling a story on what happened to him the whole day and you are just ignoring him. And he begins to ask What’s wrong? And you say “Nothing” even if there is, and you want him to remember what he forgot without telling him. So your husband will believe nothing is wrong and he keep on telling a story, but you are not listening. So he will ask you again what is wrong with you? And again you will say “NOTHING!” And you kept it until bed time, and he still doesn’t seem to remember, and you slept not telling him, you decided to keep it in yourself. Men are not good in reading minds, they always want a short cut, means you always need to tell them what inside your mind, What do you want or if they did something wrong. They are not sensitives like women who knows everything. It is okay to tell them what they did or what they forgot. Communicating with each other will help you have a good marriage.
2. Respect your Partner. Respecting each other shows up how you love each other. Wife- Respect your husband when it comes to decision making, They always want to feel they are man enough to decide for the household. And it is your duty as a wife to support him. Learn to control your words, sometimes we not careful by using harsh word and they feel like we are stabbing them with those words. Learn to control our words specially when we are mad. Don’t be such a bossy wifey type “As the Bible says Wife Submit yourself to your husband”. Husband- Respect your wife when it comes to budgeting, Respect her with love, Respect her when you see the house is mess, when the laundry is full, when she can’t cook your food, Respect her when you go to work and she was home with the kids. Respect her with understanding. Do not correct her around other people (it offends her). Don’t be such a controlling hubby type. As the Bible says “Love your wife as Christ love the church”. Learn to respect small things or big things about your spouse. It’s like give and take.
3. Spend time with each other. Set a date at least a month. Watching movie, eating outside, no friends, no kids, just the two of you. Refresh your mind away from stress, and just talk. I think this is one of the thing relationship is lacked of. They think that being together in the same room or same bed is enough, after a long stressful day. Have devotion with each other, read the Bible together. Give yourself a break sometime. Have a weekend vacation will not hurt you. Spending time with your partner can save marriage. Talk like you didn’t talk the whole week.
4. Hold on to your commitment. What did you promise to each other on your wedding day? “In richer or poorer, In sickness and in health till death do us part.” You promise to love each other what ever happens. Hold on to your promise! Do not look if he/she is doing his/her part, just do what you ought to do. The commitment that you made between him and God. If your partner saw your dedication on your marriage, he/she will also dedicate his/her life to it.
5. Pray for your Partner/Pray for your marriage. Prayer is the best tool of us talking God. Pray that God gives us more patient and more love to our partner. But first, pray that God would change us on how we treated our partner in life. That even sometimes we are controlling them and not respecting them. Pray that God will change our hearts when it comes to submission. Pray that God will change husband’s hearts when it comes to decision making and that God change them for good reasons.
My last tip for you is to learn your Spouse Love Language. Love Language is the language that use when it comes to marriage. I will make another blog about this “Love language”. I hope that you learn something about this tips. It help me as well. To God be the Glory!