and i am lost

My journey started in 2006. At the age of 17 – just came out of high school I decided to pursue a career that seems to be promising during that time. 


As a filipino this career believed to be a ticket into the global employment arena since it was a booming industry.

Entering University is one of the best years of my life. Being surrounded by likeminded people sparks excitement on achieving the goals that you’ve been dreaming of. Although nursing is not my first choice as a career, it seems to be promising and grew to love the field overtime.

Then came 2010, almost all Filipino’s in my generation took up same course as I am, we ended up polluting the industry. Oversupply of nurses was evidenced by hospitals taking advantage on RN’s by requiring to take a “training course”-where they need to pay Php 10,000 or more just to practice their profession without the guarantee of being hired in the end.

Due to my eagerness to practice the profession, I made sure to find a hospital that will not take advantage or milk more money out of me. I found a public hospital where I can work but without salary- they call it “volunteer nurse”. I Just told myself that, at least I could help somehow, especially with my less fortunate countrymen.

After three months, I decided to find any job that will pay me because your girl here need to eat and pay for her rent.  Luck seems to be on my side when I got a contractual job as a company nurse, where my love/hate relationship with nursing started.

After the contract, I decided to seek greener pasture outside the country and decided to work in a factory in Taiwan, but I got back home just after a month because of health reasons. I discovered that I have vasculitis. I did everything that I could to find a job suited for me since I can no longer stand for a long period of time without triggering the disease.

I worked as a secretary, try my luck in pageantry and try again in hospitals but seems no luck. And then I had an opportunity to go back to school and study again. I took Master in Public Health as I had this vision on working in the government and serving those who are in need. But that vision remained a vision since I belong in the country where politics matter to be able to secure a permanent job in the government.

Almost gave up, but then again giving up is NOT even a choice. I was fortunate to be tapped by a friend to try applying in Kingdom of Saudi Arabia since it is easier to get in the country even if you don’t have a lot of experience in the nursing field. 

Fast forward to today, almost 10 years later. I am here writing this piece, unemployed and do not know what to do next. I can’t seem to find my niche, I felt that I’m just going back and fort and not really seeing any growth at all. Lots of questions running in my mind; Is there any time left to change career? Can I allow myself to go back to ground zero again? Or, am I just sabotaging myself? 

Are you really for me? Or is it time to move on? Tell me.


One thought on “I AM A NURSE

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